The power of words.

What we speak actually manifests its own self in reality more than we could ever think. The odds of the things that happen on a daily basis to individual people are beyond comprehension. What is chance? Another name for fate? In my opinion it is all the same.

 If you could see your fate could you actually do anything to change the course of events that is your life. Is this a pre-planned path we walk thinking that we have choices? Or is it no more than a series of events that are so deeply rooted in our subconscious that we try to explain them with words to describe an occurrence of the randomness in nature.

 No chance. No Fate. No Randomness. No hope for free will.

Truly one in a million

A Hang-Over Amigo

Turn it off, first thought.

Clothes on from the night before

Why change now?

Puke in the sink

Driving wakes me,

I dont remember her kiss.

I could not tell you what it sounds like,

the harsh realization that you took it for granted.

Sounds like a car crash in my head.

Too late.

Hang on to what you do have

or learn to drown.

I never need to swim.

Keep my head above water.

Never mind, drown again tonight.

Maybe you will remember her look.

a look of utter dissappointment.

Then it hits, the headache.

At least you feel something.

Remember to forget,

her laugh

her smile

her complete lack of surprise.

 

   

  Slowly the foundation sinks, the mortar cracks and we are left standing in a shell of what used to be all to familiar. However crooked and warped you still love parts of it. Always. Windows start to break and doors no longer close. Letting in everything we do not want and letting out what was left of the warmth. Now we stand divided, heart and home. Home is where the heart is and she is home. Not this house built on sand.

7641.

As we stood upon the crux of a life changing second, no-one second guessed it.

  An inaudibly low tone met my ears , I met fate as I walked into nothing but darkness and sound. As prescribed by those who knew personalities, by chance this was the meeting to end all meetings. Correct?

 

Yes. That very second will stand in infamy with two people and only two people, for all time. As if the wool had been pulled from my eyes and the wax gone from my ears. I heard and saw, yet could not breathe. I saw right through a person for the first and maybe last time to only see myself standing alone. Alone in a room, black and windowless, eyes to flood the world with hope.

A feeling that by all accounts was similar to a kick in the sternum as if almost to break, left breathless to the infinity of the overwhelming silence. Undulating rhythm in my ears was to my astonishment not my heart and the realty of this situation became all to clear. With more words in that uncommunicative noise than any human could ever utter, I knew. More than anyone has ever known in the history of the world. 

A glimmer of what we all think as children. Unabashed in our judgements before the ability to be jaded even exists. Like the first memory of happiness that has no image embodied. In the times where it all stops you remember everything, well at least i do. The shape of light cast by the sodium glow from the street light while snowing, falling across the face of perfection. In an instant there was a lifetime with every breath. Can you feel your heart racing. If feeling like this is possible then maybe a god does exist. In every second of every day, in every living thing. Maybe in that second where it all seemed to stop we just looked harder. Thats what i think.

 Every day we choose to not open our eyes as we did once. I will stare into my sun till the day I lose sight. Alas their must be eclipses? The sun comes back every time. It might just take longer, it can never be totally gone, just hope it never fades and you never forget. In that second I saw hope. Sic Transit Gloria.